Organizing for a Mitzy Von Martin Visit

It was just a matter of time before I posted an article about home organization. As my seven fans know, I love home organizing. Since I live in a small space, I have to be organized. The other advantage of being organized is that you have more time for other things like reading, spending time with friends/family, napping and of course, big game hunting.

One problem that people face when trying to organize is that they think they have to go out and spend a lot of money on home organizing items and it’s going to be a huge complicated project that requires fitting Slot A into Widget B. And possibly soldering.

Trust me, there is a no soldering or widgets.

Home organizing products/services are a business and just like any business, that business wants to separate you from your money.

There are many ways to get things organized that are fast and low-cost.

1. Vertical space. As you all know, I love vertical space. Shelving allows you to take advantage of wall and closet space to display/store things. Shelving is very easy to make mainly cause people are endlessly throwing  broken bookcases, dressers, bed frames, entertainment units and actual shelves into the garbage. All you need is a few dollars worth of screws, anchors and brackets.

Tip! The front of a dresser drawer makes excellent shelves. Just break up the drawer and use the front. No cutting required. Any scratches or holes are just “architectural detail” which I think is code for scratches and holes.


Tip! Tip! There is nothing wrong with salvaging hardware like knobs, wheels, hinges and screws from broken furniture along the side of the road. Hardware can be expensive. I salvaged $20 worth of wheels from an old chair and put them on a heavy bookcase. Wheels on heavy things make life easy.

Tip! Tip! Tip! Don’t put stuff out with a FREE sign if you know it’s going to rain. Just take it to a thrift store you lazy shit. If you can wrestle it to the lawn and put a sign on it, you can damn well put it in the car and drive it to Goodwill.

Another way to harvest the awesomeness of vertical space is to create a work board. All you need is a piece of wood or MFD (medium density fiberboard. This is what 99% of stuff is made of these days and why you find so much of at the side of the road or in the dumpster cause it breaks very easily) and $2 worth of hooks. Drill some holes and screw in the hooks. This is a great way to hang tools and supplies in a work room.

Vertical space does not need to be very big. This is the space between my fridge and kitchen wall. I can fit a broom, mop and two aprons there.

2. Break Flat Surfaces into Compartments

Being able to break up a big space into smaller compartments is very easy. Almost everyone has a cutlery tray in their kitchen. These trays are great also for storing tiny items that would normally get lost. Cutlery trays being plastic can be cut to size to fit in drawers.

A few words on the awesomeness of 2 sided tape….

I would be bit lost without 2 sided tape. It’s great because it keeps stuff from sliding around or getting knocked over while fumbling to get through the front door.

My toilet tank is curved, if not for 2 sided tape, this wine box (garbage find) would fall off the back of the toilet 20 times a day!

My favorite way to organize flat spaces is with boxes and 2 sided tape. Small boxes are everywhere and you can trim them to fit. And they are free. You probably have them in your recycling bin right now.

A little creativity, 2 sided tape, and a few small boxes, your stuff will not be sliding around.

You are probably thinking, isn’t it kind of low rent to cut of cardboard boxes to make drawer organizers?

What if Mitzy Von Martin comes over for bridge and opens a drawer in my bathroom vanity and sees that my tweezers and nail clippers are easy to find because I used an old tooth paste box to keep them from shifting to the back of the drawer when I should have used the [insert name of over paid celebrity here] $29.99 plastic drawer organizer!

This probably what is going to happen:

Mitzy is not going to open your drawers.

Mitzy opens your drawers and sees that it is organized with aspirin and toothpaste boxes and does not care.

Mitzy opens your drawers cause she is secretly a vicodin addict and is looking to score and is disappointed enraged that all she could find was some floss and an eyebrow pencil.

Mitzy opens your drawers and sees that it is organized with aspirin and toothpaste boxes and take a picture of your low rent organizing system and posts it on Facebook for all her friends (and maybe your friends) to ridicule. If she does, I suggest you unfriend her. But also walk to the kitchen and open the 3rd drawer where you will find your matches and then go over to her place and set her house of fire.

Note: For legal reasons, please disregard the last sentence. You can totally have the matches in the 2nd drawer.

With any life challenge, we think that the solution is going to be something very complicated and labour intensive. This is a common notion because organizing stuff does require a little bit of thought and effort but in the long run you will save time, money and aggravation.  It’s not rocket science. Now that I think about it, it’s much closer to big game hunting. After all you have to organize your weapons, ammo, deer urine and of course make use of your vertical space to mount the elk head onto the wall.

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4 thoughts on “Organizing for a Mitzy Von Martin Visit

  1. I want to put up vertical storage space in our garage as we have so much stuff cluttering the floor that could be moved up out of the way.

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